Jokes- Give Any if you got

Well I kinda made this a few years back but yeah i still like it



What women want in a man at age 22:

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What women want in a man at age 32:

1. Nice looking (preferably with hair)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What women want in a man at age 42:

1. Not too ugly (bald head is fine)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What women want in a man at age 52:

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What women want in a man at age 62:

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What women want in a man at age 72:

1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet

This isn't racist or anything but i heard it from Chris Rock.

The only time you can call a black person a nigga. Okay it's chrismas eve and you have to get you'r son the last power ranger toy that he wants. Your next in the check out then a black person comes over steals the toy and you'r wallet beats the crap out of you, and then pisses on you. And to end drop's a brick on your balls then you can say ' Somebody catch that nigga!' You call the police say all that he did to you and then the police offecer says' I hope somebody catches that nigga..'

I hope that didnt offend anybody I just wanted to say it. If it did offend you go drop a brick on Chris Rock's balls then piss on him.

Jack was on a crowded bus when suddenly he realized he need to fart. The music is really loud, so he time his farts with the beat. he let go about five strong and loud ones back to back. After a couple of songs, he starts to feel better, while he is approaching his stop. While Jack is leaving the bus he realizes that people are staring badly at him and that is wen he realized he has been listening to his I Pod the whole time